Day 6 (403)
Showing up here is my promise to the universe (okay: myself).
When learning new software, or trying out a a new medium, or being in creative flow, it is easy to get lost in the process, especially when Spotify is providing an endless playlist. Alas, my workload for the next few weeks is wreaking havoc with this burning desire to be creative ( I am afire, m’dears). In order to be able to sleep and take care of my whole self—not just the creative part, I realized today that I am in over my head.
As a recovering perfectionist, this is a source of consternation and I am already in the midst of an existential crisis and don’t need more woes. It is an act of faith that I am willing to post things that I haven’t rewritten for days, or art I haven’t fussed over umpteen times.
I have a lifetime of unfinished work that did not pass muster. That is why, at 64 and 11/12ths (I am holding on for every last day) I feel so compelled to move forward whether things are perfect or not. Lack of time really does test perfectionism and commitment. I doubt that I can create afresh every day, but I will mine those past imperfections and throw them into the universe because today is all about faith, after all.
I have faith that you won’t judge the imperfections of my art, but will be cheering me on as I attempt to be a more perfect version of my very imperfect self. That will have to be good enough.